I tend to consider myself a very understanding and forgiving person. I know that most people don't know how to be around me, how to react when I tell them my child is dead. I know people, especially young people that I encounter in the military, will not know what to say, or how to respond. I don't expect anyone to. I expect a level of insensitivity, a lot of saying the wrong thing with the best of intentions, and a whole lot of stupid or sympathetic looks.
What I DO NOT expect, and am having a really hard time forgiving is downright stupidity.
Today as I was walking out of work, sort of rushed, I ran into a guy that I have spoken to on a few occasions, a fellow Sailor, a mature, ranked individual who seems like a kind and caring individual from the few interactions I have had. As I was about to go out the doors, he stopped me, and we shook hands in that passing-in-the-hall sort of way, and he asked me where my baby was. (I haven't seen him since I was pregnant, and I think he was just alluding to the fact that I am no longer pregnant, because of COURSE I wouldn't have the baby with me at work...) I paused for a moment and considered lying. I do just about every time someone asks that sort of question, but instead I looked him in the eyes, I sighed and I said "He died." At this point we were a few steps apart, with him carrying on his way and me on mine. "Oh," he said. I thought that was it. Then he looked at me deadpan as he walked away and asked...
"Did you eat him?"
...
What in the FUCK is wrong with that guy?! There are no words to describe the feelings that have coursed through me over this statement in the last hour and a half since it happened. Seriously... what the fuck?
There are no words.
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